Sleepless nights on a calm sea

It’s late and I just finished my pre-bedtime ritual of playing a few matches in World of Warships (read: generously donating my ships to help others grind the tech tree). Actually, I had a couple of good games tonight, but really, I should be crashed by now, or at least tucked under the covers working through the latest Clive Cussler novel that I’m sucked into.

Unfortunately, I’ve hit another of my ruts and I’ve been having a difficult time focusing on creative work. Could be the longer hours at the “job”, or the random bouts of med-induced insomnia, or it might just be a whiff of depression. As often happens during these spells of idleness, I’ve been giving some thought to where I’m at and the direction that I’d like to be going.

I recently listened to an interview with artist Jake Parker where he was discussing world-building. The point of the conversation that really hit me was a story he told about Japanese film director Hayao Miyazaki berating his animation team for spending too much time drawing and not enough time “living”.

Mr. Parker often refers to what he calls the “creative bank account” and the importance of keeping it full through observation and experience, basically “living life”. It’s the latter part that really got me thinking about just how much I’ve NOT been doing just that.

Thing is, I’m a MAJOR introvert, and by the time I’m done with work I seldom have the energy to do anything that takes me beyond the sanctuary of my apartment. This is generally an asset, as being unburdened by an active social life gives me a decent amount of time to write, paint, or whatever. Unfortunately, at some point that isolation catches up and I suffer a mini existential crisis, losing interest in my work and wondering what the point is. These are dangerous episodes which can derail long term projects out of a desperate desire for something -anything- “different”.

This is where I’ve been lingering for the past few weeks, floating in a dead calm of creative apathy, half-heartedly scanning the empty horizon for any hint of inspiration. It’s given me time to think about things like branding, social media, and what I want to focus on once the wind picks up again.

A couple of months ago, I began dabbling with a YouTube channel. I’ve neglected it a bit lately but I really do like that platform, though I’m still trying to work out how best to use it. I’m also abandoning the idea of attacking all social media platforms at once. I just don’t have the time to give them all due attention. The plan is to narrow things down to this blog, YouTube, and Twitter as my primary means of engaging the public.

One thing is for sure, and that is that I need to get back to my writing, even if it means cutting down on my art time (though I have to finish the coloring book project). So I have some semblance of a plan. I have a week of vacation coming up during which I hope to make some deposits to that creative bank account.

Who knows? I might even go out to a movie or something. <gasp>

Catch you next time! o/

 

 

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